The Ballad of the Billionaire
By Paul McConville
(With apologies to William Topaz MacGonagall)
Oh, ’twas in the year of two thousand and eleven,
When wining the SPL put Rangers and its fans into seventh heaven,
That dark storm clouds did then loom into sight,
And to the apparent rescue came a man named Whyte.
He bought the club for the sum of a pound,
Because, by Sir David Murray, no other buyer had ever been found,
And as well as the cash to buy up the team,
He found the cash to pay off the bank, which made the folk at Lloyds beam.
Mr Whyte proclaimed to the world his detailed plans,
And these were acclaimed by most of the fans,
But very soon after he stopped paying the bills,
And this caused many to swallow headache pills.
On the face of the deal it all seemed well,
But already the matters were in place for the fate which did later Rangers befell,
For Mr Whyte also ceased paying over the tax,
Which he denied and denied, but these were the facts.
The purchase of the team being done for one quid,
It being by far the highest sum bid,
Came down to Sir David and the Big Tax Case,
A massive bill up to which Rangers had failed to face.
The bill it arose due to EBTs,
Which seemed even more prevalent than a mangy dog’s fleas,
A device intended to reduce the tax paid,
As long as proper foundations for the scheme had been laid.
And so the Billionaire took full control,
A worldwide media and merchandise operation was his goal,
He even appointed Mr Misha Sher,
Though how Mr Sher was dealt with was hardly fair.
Whyte’s team now was lead by Super Ally,
With whom Whyte gave the impression of being really pally,
In fact Whyte was effectively a recluse,
Bain, Greig, McClelland and McIntyre all being cast loose.
The league season started with goals at a rush,
Building hopes and dreams Whyte was later to crush,
Rangers soon pulled many points clear,
And no one knew the horrors about to appear.
Well, that’s not quite true, it is fair now to say,
For there were various writers who saw it right to say
That they saw the disasters about to unfold,
But the Rangers support did refuse to be told.
RTC, CQN and alongside them a man,
Going proudly by the name of Phil Mac Giolla Bhain,
Who told the story clearly as it ran,
Much to the Rangers fans’ chagrin.
The warning signs were there to be seen,
But much of the media seemed scared to look behind the screen,
And observers threw their toys out of their prams
At the silence of the succulent lambs.
Rangers set off on their Europe sojourn,
To the land of Benny, Anna Frid and Bjorn,
But a thrown ball and a red card
Proved to make the challenge just too hard.
And so off to Maribor, in the East,
Where the spectre of defeat loomed like a terrifying beast,
And lo, as was feared, it soon came to pass,
Rangers were dumped out of the Europa League ….. on aggregate.
Thus the pebbles were set in motion
For what would be an avalanche, a financial commotion,
For the riches from UEFA had now all been lost,
And away with them the chance of survival was tossed.
And so over autumn and winter the bills they ran up,
And at the same time Rangers went out the League Cup,
And their lead at the top of the SPL, it had gone,
To a team bossed by a man called Neil Lennon.
Posted by Paul McConville
Titter titter, I titter so
As your story gives me a wee glow
Paul
I would get a day job, just so you dont give it up!
Its night over here in Perth WA but u just made the sun come out again.
Cheers
Gary
Now they’re being run by a man called Green
But still sing songs to their Gracious Queen
Also one to some boys called Billy
showing that they are just plain silly
And as the clouds linger the fans still have fight
The resurgunce seems to have given ol Dermot a fright
Super Allys team packed full of pro’s
Appear to be only adding to the woes
But as Neil Lennon has shown
Time has allowede him to create the team he has grown
And on this note Super Allys fans all still beleive
That in time he will succed; and that Green is no theive
The club will go on with foundations still strong
Even if those from Sphell think thats wrong
New friends from the SFL, who offered forgiveness
Are now blessed with a good bit of business
Once is all said and done from conspirers and their dung
Glasgow Rangers champions will be the song that is sung
And as the club moves on in further glory
Left behind are haters who wanted something more gory
Nice try from the one called Andy
but if you believe most of that you’ve had too much of the shandy
and yet still some perplexed by our beleif
try and bring us down and give us more grief
But we just want the football, and have no time for all that
SFA, SPL we don’t care where its at
We just want our football every weekend
To save our wifes taking us shopping; and bringing our bank bal to an end
So thats what we’ll do, loyal, true and blue
We’ll be at ibrox enjoying the view
The cry was Surrender, No?
But Whyte failed to pay the dough
So they seen their club die
It was Rangers till July
But they still can’t admit to it tho
………………………………………………
Along came a man called Green
With a suit he tried to keep clean
The history? He said he’s bought it
Same club, dig deep in your pocket
Money for somthing, only he knows what
Lied so many times, but still to be caught
And he’ll be away before they’ve ‘got it’
……………………………………………………………
Ally’s team trys to play football
Well if like, you can call it that
I’ve also heard on ‘Your Call’
That you shouldn’t call him fat
Because Ally doesn’t like it
And seemingly whatever he says goes
Lets count his away wins then
And you won’t even need your toes
……………………………………………………….
A new club was born this season
The Rangers is their name
A new club was born this season
They only win at ‘hame’
A new club was born this season
Tho continuation, they all seem to crave
A new club was born this season
The old one will be spinning in its grave
…………………………………………………………..
The haters still spout that its a different club
Yet their dear leader Dermot; says something different from his gub
Rangers live on great history, fans and future
Blood, sweat and tears just like Terry Butcher
The celts lie in wait, ready as ever
as they all know, its Rangers now, Rangers then, Rangers Forever!!
Where’s cam?
Poor form from you Jono
Certainly not the lyrical work of Bono
Get in the swing and give us rhyme
Anything less and Paul may charge you a Dime
Stirling Albion andy Sally must stay
Sevco tribute to rfc check company house number
A friend of mine some time ago,
Told me of an old lady, who was dying.
He couldn’t hide his sorrow,
As he talked he started crying.
His friend was old, he told me,
She’d had a long eventful life,
She’d been through wars and lived through times,
When poverty was rife.
She’d always been successful,
A whole community had looked her way,
To help them through some testing times,
And the same was true today.
He said she’d had some problems,
She’d some sons who’d left the rails,
They preached hatred and intolerance,
From which she’d suffered great travails.
She’d suffered long in silence,
Finding words so hard to find,
To explain the actions of her sons,
And others of their kind.
How could it all have come to this,
That a mother proud and strong,
Who gave birth and watched her family grow,
To find they’d turned out wrong.
Then this lady’s sons had taught their sons,
And the sons of sons learned too,
That to be considered one of them,
You’d to be a certain hue.
As my friend’s friend began to age,
She became loathe to disagree,
With the thoughts and deeds now commonplace,
Throughout her family tree.
Her latter years had brought some strife,
When she couldn’t pay some debt,
But her family didn’t rally round,
Something they now regret.
So as her spending power decreased,
And investment funds were tight,
She refused to tell her family,
About her awful plight.
They wanted her to chase success,
They wanted the lime light,
And although she knew the path was wrong,
She was weary of the fight.
She pawned the family heirlooms,
In a bid to stem the tide,
But alas her debts had grown so large,
That the gulf had grown too wide.
The fall from grace was hard to take,
And some rallied to attend,
But alas for the friend of my best friend,
Her life was coming to an end.
That old lady died this summer,
And many mourn that day,
There are those who can’t accept it,
And have built an effigy.
They wheel it all around the land,
And profess that it is she,
The lady that could not be saved,
By her faithful family.
But all who look upon that sight,
Turn and shake their head,
For though it looks quite like her,
It’s not the lady that is dead.
@ Robert D Bruce
And could be true of any hue.
There once lived two brothers born several years apart
The elder being most dominant often broke the youngers heart
And battle as they did for year upon year
They were never out of sight; always keen to see the others tear
The younger to his credit never gave it up
And to his eternal credit lifted the most glorious cup
But no matter how many battles he won
He could never match as many as his brother had done
He ran to his father expecting some help
Only to be told stop being such a yelp
He wrongly assumed his brother fathers favourite
And chose to guilt trip dad into being a hypocrite
As his elder brother made some mistakes
The younger decided to eat jelly and cakes
He felt he had won; battle and war he was champion once more
Basking in his glory, he felt something missing; where was his brother he should have been with him
As although they fought and fought and caused each other pain
They needed each other, without it wasnt the same
He said just as much, he wasnt finished making history
He was now getting sad, his brother was lost; and it was still a mystery
Now he lies in wait, seeking his brother
Love and Hate him, he wouldnt have another
The elder brother wounded and hurt hears his brothers call
And shouts from the rooftops have no fear I am here after all
The elder brother proclaims we will battle once more
As the younger brother claims, I cant wait I thought you were no more
The elder brother embraces his younger; have no fear and never say never
We will always be together, battling on another forever and ever
The younger would become stronger than his elder
Who has since then past away, so is with us no longer
But after his death, came an obvious revelation
Despite what the elder thought, there was no relation
There is no longer in Scotland a club called Airdrionians
True also of Rangers((IA) and soon to be(IL)) leaving only Sevconians
Were Rangers
Now Strangers
Once they led
Now they’re dead
Broke the rules
Cheating fools
Paid no taxes
Lost all matches
Titles lost
What a cost
Filled with fury
Bullied the jury
Stone age peepel
Don’t like the chapel
No surrender they hissed
I laughed till I pissed
For Rangers worry
I thank you Murray!
Oh lord who hast forsaken me
and sent us to division three
A fate that’s worse than bein deid
A wan wan draw at Peterheid
Awa frae Ibrox it’s pure dross
Ending our latest loss
And so it goes,on and on
And beaten by brave Albion
They say we’re obsessed with the Newco
But I just reply with a No No
We’re not obsessed, they’re just distressed
Which gives all us Tims a good Ho Ho
(Well—not bad for thirty seconds)
With blue tops, five stars and even the name
The deluded masses believe it’s the same
He said the history would be gone, but now he’s changed his story
He needs to make some money now, so he’s claiming the past glory
We bought them, we own them, he continuly bleats
Even the titles when we’re accused of being cheats
It doesn’t matter how we paid players, as we won them on the pitch
No it’s now forty-eight and counting Mr Green, Oh! Aint life a bitch
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Green promised orange tops, just like he was seen
Did I say say orange? Opps! I ment tangerine
Add to that the fruits from Apple, you nearly have your five a day
But will it all come to fruition tho? Or will Charlie run away
…………………………………………………………………………………………..
Lee McCulloch plays football, infact he is the captian
Of The Rangers Football Club, managed by a fat man
He’s held in high esteem, he’s a favourite of ‘the people’
Who’re at the bottom, but still think they top the steeple
………………………………………………………………………………
Fat Sally was playing games, pretending to not have a clue
He wanted to know their names, when he already knew
In the media, he is still thought of as the ‘cheeky chappy’
To the rest, his mask has sliped, now he’s just a…