Category Archives: Alleged Humour

Ally McCoist – Moving to the Edinburgh Festival?

The Thursday night meeting I wrote about earlier also seems to have included a candidate for “one liner of the year”.

Move over Michael McIntyre! - Here's Ally!

Move over Michael McIntyre! – Here’s Ally!

Mr McCoist is quoted as saying:-

“Our wage bill has come down to around one-third of what it was a couple of years ago.”

Audience

The crowd appreciated Mr McCoist’s one-liner!

Continue reading

187 Comments

Filed under Alleged Humour

Revealed! Secret Plan Shows Why Rangers’ History Repeats Itself!

My excellent private investigators, Charley Farley and Piggy Malone, have found a secret document which is the blueprint for a unique brainwashing process. It plots the stages through which Rangers fans are being driven in relation to their team.

Farley and Malone, Private Investigators

Farley and Malone, Private Investigators

But it can be revealed that, rather than be the result of blind faith repeatedly betrayed, it is in fact a carefully orchestrated plan to force the faithful through every emotion possible conducted by broadcasts of subliminal messages.

I am sure it is coincidental that two shadowy figures, one known only as “the Law-well Man” and the other as “The Archbishop” were seen together in a building with a high spire from which the mind-bending messages are beamed. Continue reading

165 Comments

Filed under Alleged Humour, Charles Green, Rangers

Shock News – Rangers Take on New Coach and Snub the Easdales!

It has all gone very quiet regarding the boardroom upheavals at Ibrox. You will recall that in May there was a requisition for an EGM. This ought to have taken place by, at the latest, next week. However on 6th June Rangers International Football Club PLC announced that the timetable had been extended whilst discussions went on with the shareholders who wanted the EGM.

The purpose was to remove Mr Murray as Chairman (which has already happened) but also from the Board, along with Mr Cartmell.

They were then to be replaced by James Easdale and Chris Morgan.

Nothing official has been announced although the press have made various comments on leaks and rumours about who is to be elevated.

However the peace which seemed to have descended over Ibrox might now be disturbed, and the story which will cause this is brazenly displayed on the front page of the Rangers website. Continue reading

101 Comments

Filed under Alleged Humour, Rangers

Exclusive – Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill’s New Blueprint for Scottish Justice**

My sources close to Crown Office and the Justice Department have been able to locate for me the working draft of Mr MacAskill’s latest press release, designed to accompany the next stage of his proposals to “modernise” and “improve” Scottish criminal law.

After all, this follows a week where the Bill bringing to an end the need for corroboration in Scottish prosecutions has been published, despite the united opposition of the judiciary, the Faculty of Advocates and the Law Society of Scotland and where the future of the “not proven” verdict has again been placed under scrutiny, with the clear intention that it disappear too.

The draft below might never see the light of the day, and there are clearly a few parts for the Minister to tidy up. Maybe the Justice Secretary will decide that the latest proposals might be far enough to go.

Or maybe we will wake up soon to see the following in our morning papers… Continue reading

458 Comments

Filed under Alleged Humour, Criminal Justice (Scotland) Bill, Criminal Law, General Scots Law Rambling

An Apology to Mr McCoist – He Must Have Known There Would Be No Player Limit Next Season

One of the running themes here on my blog since the appearance of Rangers in SFL3 was the unfortunate effect on them of the unfair rules (which whilst applicable to all 30 SFL clubs were clearly targeted at Rangers) dealing with player registrations etc. The limit on the number of players aged over 21 registered by an SFL team only seemed to affect Rangers.

As last season ended, and we geared up for the coming season, Rangers were associated with almost every free agent and prospective free agent footballers who had any link with Scotland. Various signings have already been made to ensure that Rangers can make their way through the third tier successfully. After all, Mr McCoist identified that he needed around ten new players to ensure success over the footballing giants of Arbroath, Ayr and Airdrie. Continue reading

201 Comments

Filed under Alleged Humour, Football Governance, Rangers, SFL, SPFL