I Emerge From My Word Mines … And Bring You The Quote of the Year!


I’m back!

Did you miss me?

I have been working away and earlier completed a submission of nearly 19,000 words for an upcoming case. Despite temptation, I did not illustrate it with suitable photos or clip-art images – some Sheriffs don’t like that. 😦

If you want to know about tongue and groove plywood, dwangs, flexible expansion joints, underfloor “wet system” heating and the National Building Specifications (November 2011 edition), then I’m your man!

Don’t worry, there are still lots of things to write about!


For example, after the stooshie (or storm in a teacup) caused by Jack Irvine, king of Media House, saying on Twitter that a piece I had written was very perceptive, I wanted to tell the exclusive story of me and Jack – and it will be told!

The Rangers EGM will now be “rolled into” the AGM, although the Stock Exchange has not been told that – maybe different people are responsible for the Rangers website announcements and its Stock Exchange notices?

In the law a seismic change – the Dean of the Faculty of Advocates permitting advocates to appear without an instructing solicitor beside them – it may not sound much, but it is likely to make a big difference to litigation where counsel are involved and will be used, especially by insurers, to try to cut down the legal costs of claims – and the Scottish Legal Aid Board will not be far behind, one can be sure.

And quote of the year?

It comes from the story that animal welfare organisations want to prevent Shaktar Karagandy sacrificing a sheep before their match with Celtic tomorrow.

As the BBC reports:-

However, the Scottish SPCA has contacted Celtic expressing its concern.

“There are strict rules regulating the transport and slaughter of animals in Scotland and it is only permitted in licensed premises,” said a spokeswoman.

“Killing a sheep in this way would be a criminal offence and anyone involved could face prosecution.

And the quote of the year?

“We are currently seeking assurance from Celtic Park that no sheep will be allowed on the premises ahead of the match.”


No entry for ewe (you) to Parkhead, if the SSPCA gets its way!

No entry for ewe (you) to Parkhead, if the SSPCA gets its way!

Posted by Paul McConville




Filed under Blogging

124 responses to “I Emerge From My Word Mines … And Bring You The Quote of the Year!

  1. Sassenach

    Thats baaaaaaaaaaaaad

  2. graham

    Paul ,
    I back ..
    Did u miss me while I was away ???
    Have stolen them couple of lines from am old Garry glitter song ?? Haha
    Good luck to celtic tomorrow night
    I think they will win comfortabley ..

  3. Paul

    On a more serious note how many sheep are gone to be sent to Syria for sacrifice?

  4. Sassenach

    Paul, maybe Cameron should go first to test the waters. Why are politician’s so free with the lives of others?

  5. coatbrigbhoy

    If you want to know about tongue and groove plywood, dwangs, flexible expansion joints, underfloor “wet system” heating and the National Building Specifications (November 2011 edition),
    then no doubt Steerpike will be along shortly to give his long held views on the subject,
    i wait with bated breath to find out what the projections for the National Building Specifications (November 2013 edition), will hold.

    • @CBhoy——Classic lol, Iv’e the fight tune from the “quiet man” running around in my head, dum dum dum dum deedle dum dum dum dum.

      • Maggie

        @officer dibble
        One of my all time favourite films,just fantastic.
        Every time I hear some Sevconian talk about “Rangers’ Haters” I always think of Squire Danaher’s lackey Feeney and his book containing all the names of the enemies of the Squire.
        “Feeney,have you your book with you? Write the name of one Sean Thornton”
        Do you think Bill Mc Murdo or Leggo has a “Feeney” with a book containing all our names? 🙂

        • Ed Paisley

          @dibble @maggie
          I recommend a visit to Cong in County Mayo. It hasn’t changed that much since the Quiet Man was filmed there in 1952. Ashford Castle on the outskirts of Cong (in the grounds of which some scenes were filmed) is now a five star international hotel – it’s got two heli-pads so you should be okay to land there Maggie.
          I had a paddle in the wee river where John Wayne and Victor McLaglen had part of their mega fight. I could have sworn I saw Barry Fitzgerald walking down the main street. It was chock-a-block with tourists but still a dreamy little picture of old Ireland.

          • Maggie

            @Ed Paisley
            A heli-pad Ed,that’s no good to me,I need an airstrip for my lear jet 🙂
            I have photos of my parents on their honeymoon taken at the Celtic cross monument in the village as it appears in the film.I’m not sure exactly where it was taken,I’m sure I was told but didn’t pay much attention ( as you don’t, when you’re young,to your parents’ stories) but my parents went to Dublin on honeymoon so it must have been somewhere close by.It was their favourite film and they passed that love onto me.
            It’s a film that never ceases to enchant each new generation who see it.
            I love all the films of John Ford,he was an auteur before French cinema verite or the verismo of Rosellini,di Sica Visconti,Fellini etc in Italian cinema,and was an inspiration to Spielberg,Scorsese,Welles,Bergman et al.I loved how Spielberg used the scene from The Quit Man in ET.
            I’m away to dig out my John Ford box sets for repeat viewing Ed,I’ll get back to you with further film reviews. 🙂

          • willy wonka

            Victor McLaglen – a 33 degree Freemason.

        • “Feeney,have you your book with you?
          Write the name of one Sean Thornton”
          “Now strike a line through it!”

        • @Maggie —– Watched regularly, love it too, ‘Can you imagine the thought slavering over their scribe,,, “So the IRA’s in this too eh”. ‘Ya taig squint your names in me book’. lol
          Think i’ll have another view again soon, dum dum dum dum deedle deedle dum dum.

    • Maggie

      No,no,he’ll be along to tell Paul that he’s bound to be wrong and his 19,000 words were a complete waste of time and effort and will be disregarded by the sheriff,as Rangers could definitely have avoided liquidation and Sevco most definitely have a viable business plan,if only bigots and Rangers haters such as he stopped wasting his time with diversionary tactics like National Building Regulations ( 2011:-) ) and anyway if he hadn’t been educated in those child abusing “faith” schools he would have been an atheist and therefore known better than waste the time of a good presbyterian,Masonic brother such as he.
      This of course would have been interspersed with several disparaging personal insults about Paul’s intellect,his critical thinking skills and his knowledge of forensic accountancy.
      What else do you expect from a proven inveterate liar after all.

    • coatbrigbhoy,

      I wonder if he will distort the National Building Specifications(November 2013) Edition as much as he has the Ba Ba Blue Sheep situation?

    • Geddy Lee

      Brilliant LOL

  6. Lets RAM the message home, no if’s or BUTTS ,
    It’s Celtic it’s the Champions League
    Ewe’ll never walk alone

  7. Arb urns

    Nah quote of the year ( ish) has to be Walt effectively wishing ‘the new club ‘ ‘aw ra best ‘ …. Closely followed by nialls …..’working business model’….

  8. @gortchomhor

    So when are we getting the Jack story?

  9. Monti

    I’m uncomfortable with Huns wishing Celtic well, stick to your new club & the vermin that follows it.

    Celtic first & Celtic last & Celtic overall!


  10. “We are currently seeking assurance from Celtic Park that no sheep will be allowed on the premises ahead of the match.”

    Wy would celtic give assurances that would prevent (sheep) the sevconians from attending the celtic – v – Karagandy match ?

  11. Monti

    Comfortably…….i blame presb schools myself!

    • Maggie

      Thanks for doing that Mont,I was dying to,but didn’t want to be elitist with my excellent spelling and grammar that I learned at my abusive faith school.I’ll totally never forgive them for drumming that into me.
      It’s totally blighted and ruined my life 🙂

  12. Maggie

    @Paul Mc
    May I suggest “Sheep may safely graze” ……aria from the hunt cantata No.208 by JS Bach instead of Zadok the Priest as entrance music ahead of the game tomorrow.Certain to unsettle the Kazakhs 🙂

  13. Monti

    One sleep to go 🙂 Come on the Hoops!

    ….. SHOWTIME!

  14. Fra

    Good luck Celtic. I will say a wee prayer that you help all of Scottish football by progressing in the tournament and helping the co-efficient.

    Jack Irvine’s a scumbag

  15. Steerpike

    I hope Celtic win 3-0 tomorrow and Rangers lose 3-0 on Saturday.

    If that doesn’t cheer you up then I mourn for your soul.

  16. Monti


  17. Steerpike



    Is this your version of WATP ?

  18. Monti

    Aberdeen fans, we are only having a laugh guys, meh meh meh 🙂

  19. @gortchomhor

    So, is it true? John Grieg is thick? Simple as that?

    Amazing that those currently running the Ibrox club can be so casually insulting towards Rangers legends. None of them say a thing.

    If some employee in the PR dept. at Celtic said someone like Danny McGrain was thick his involvement with Celtic would be over.

    Sevco supporters are like the battered wives of Scottish football these days. You ask where they got the bruises and they say they walked into a door… It’s quite embarassing really.

    If all goes well for this dysfunctional family, they have several years of beatings and humiliation to come at the hands of the spivs; if it doesn’t go well, bye bye.

    • Monti

      Either scenario would suffice….preferably the latter…

    • I know, from Lunatics to Sheep with Spivs & tax dodgers in between in between… THAT is the history of RFC(IL)

      Sevco has a history of spivs & Sheep so far… or do the investors fulfill the lunatic element?


    • Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away
      Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air
      You better watch out
      There may be dogs about
      I’ve looked over Jordan and I have seen
      Things are not what they seem.

      What do you get for pretending the danger’s not real
      Meek and obedient you follow the leader
      Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel
      What a surprise!
      A look of terminal shock in your eyes
      Now things are really what they seem
      No, this is no bad dream.

      The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
      He makes me down to lie
      Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by
      With bright knives he releaseth my soul
      He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places
      He converteth me to lamb cutlets
      For lo,m he hath great power and great hunger
      When cometh the day we lowly ones
      Through quiet reflection and great dedication
      Master the art of karate
      Lo, we shall rise up
      And then we’ll make the bugger’s eyes water.

      Bleating and babbling we fell on his neck with a scream
      Wave upon wave of demented avengers
      March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

      Have you heard the news?
      The dogs are dead!
      You better stay home
      And do as you’re told
      Get out of the road if you want to grow old.
      The sheep song by pink floyd lets hope lennys lions get them out of the road the morra night c’mon the hoops.

  20. jockybhoy

    In fairness to those criticising the statement “Jack Irvine doesn’t speak for Rangers”, he doesn’t speak for Rangers, he speaks for money.

    Literally a media whore….

  21. Ed Paisley

    We don’t want any sacrificial sheep at Celtic Park.
    Of course Ally is the Sacred Cow over at the Ibrox Byre.
    The man is untouchable.

  22. That was a VERY SMALL crowd watching the Sevco Shambles in The Asbestos Dome.

    What happened? Did only Cam & the Freebies turn up?

  23. Geddy Lee

    I’m sure Swally will offer them Ibrox for their ritual LOL

    Seriously though, these sheep slaughterers should be reminded that we removed alcohol logos from the team’s shirts for the first leg, out of respect for their culture.

    They should be asked to do the same.

  24. Monti


  25. Monti

    EWE all need to stop with the sheep jokes, it’s baaaafling how so many people can derive so much pleasure from baaad jokes…..

  26. @gortchomhor

    Did Green’s gang offer the Kazaks use of the training facilities at Murray Park? They did that before with Juventus eh…

    I wonder if they’ll let McCoist and his team use Murray Park if they draw Celtic in the Scottish cup…. (Assuming they haven’t sold the joint by then)

  27. Monti

    Have the creditors been paid yet?

    • cam

      Which ones old bean?,,,are you concerned for creditors of ALL companies that go bust owing money to HMRC, or just Rangers?

      • @gortchomhor

        Wasn’t just HMRC that got shafted, far from it. But if Charlotte’s revelations are anything to go by, this subject might not be as dead as we thought. Craigie chatting away and giving statements to BDO, who’d have thought eh? Got to wonder why they are so interested in all that, haven’t you? Eh?

        But ok let’s stick all that stuff on the back burner eh, all that debt and ripping people off, etc. — It’s over with. Over! That was the old club, let’s forget it and move on. Sins of the past and all that. We have a new club now, a clean slate.

        So did Orlit ever get paid. No? Alex from C4 saying they didn’t, last time I looked. Should we expect another winding up order then? Next week maybe?

        What about Imran, is he getting paid? No? Maybe? Give us a maybe? No?

        How about the electricity bill? No? Now don’t be rash, think it through; you might need the lights with winter coming — remember? — so try and think beyond next week… No? Maybe?


        I guess some folks just don’t like paying bills.

  28. cam




    19,000 words on building regulations,,,nearly as many as clattered on the thoughts of a football manager at a presser, which aren’t usually the scene of intellectual debate.Still, some folk are in need of their daily fix of Obsessadone.
    One wonders how one can care about Rangers Stock Exchange notifications when one is so busy,one can only assume one must have a one track mind where one football club is involved.
    Changes to how many legal folk can charge you for saying yes or no may be interesting to those doing the charges,,,me?,,i’ll have a dwang with chips.
    Now we have faux concern from sheep “lovers” from a country that does strange things to a sheep’s intestines and organs.
    A flock of 60,000 will turn up to see the current chieftains of the pudding race, led by the biggest tripe merchant with a less than sonsie face,overwhelm some miners.
    Pass the mint sauce.

    • Ed Paisley

      I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 18 years old and read Primo Levi’s autobiographical book “If This is a Man”. It is an uncomfortable book of course but particularly unsettling is the way he emphasises the similarities between the slaughter of animals and the murder of the innocents at Auschwitz.
      Primo Levi became a pacifist, a humanist and of course, a vegetarian.
      You should read it – I promise you will never touch another bluenose burger.

    • Geddy Lee

      OOH , there’s that old lennon hatred rising again, even from the joker in the Sevco Pack.

      I bet you lot are in turmoil tonight, dreading the thought of Celtic qualifying
      again for the top table, while your own pathetic mob, led by the “Village idiot in Chief”
      have to settle for swiping the scraps from the dog’s bowl.

      We can make more money in one night, than the tribute act can in a season. LOL

      Interesting to see that the “only show in town” could only attract a mere 16,000. last night.

      Was there a Parade on somewhere LOL

      Seem’s like the novelty of watching “the rangers” is rapidly wearing off.

      Enjoy the view from behind your couches tonight Sevcovians.

  29. cam

    Hopefully as punishment for being a silly wee bhoy this handsome young chap won’t be allowed to attend the match.
    Spare the rod,spoil the child.

  30. cam

    Shaktar face a tiring journey home when they get fleeced tomorrow.The club owners only paid their air fares one way.The local supporters club have asked Vladimir Romanov for the use of an old ewe-boat.

    What did one cloned Shaktar supporter say to the other one?,,,,i am ewe!

    • Arb urns

      Did ye have any dead sheep on the putting surface at the weekend cam?

      • cam

        Morag’s barred me from the golf course,,i was coming home with sand everywhere,,she said “you’re spending too much time in those bunkers,,either you’re aims off or you must have got yer hole in one.”

  31. lordmac

    looks like jack Irvin is pulling the rangers fans heart and chain once more, he is trying to push the rangers fans into giving there support to John Greig as i believe John Greig will be used, by the winners of the boardroom, jack aint daft, and saying what he is saying about John Greig is only in jest, jack has bigger fish to fry, but a wee bit of directing is needed to guide the fans in his direction, and without them knowing what the main plan is, so once he has the fans defending John Greig. it will be easy to get him at the helm, when the trap door shuts then the fans, daft as they are will be thinking they have saved there man a rangers man, only to find out at what cost to the rangers as there will be deals done that the fans will not like, finding out they owning nothing, and every thing they need has to be hired back to them at a cost.
    don’t disappoint us jack, and his presence will kill 2 birds, with the one stone as it puts traynor in a strange place now.

    • @gortchomhor

      Brilliant, Lord. So Jack is Charlotte? It was Charlotte who released the Greig is thick email. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was true.

  32. lordmac

    why would there need to be a rangers development fund, with both mather and Stockbridge, being self appointed directors, who is going to give to this fund, who have they ear market for this, yes! the daft fans once more, standing orders, save the rangers, yep then John Greig the account holder, they cant use Walter again can they. they leave a trail like a snail easy to follow

    • Geddy Lee.

      I believe there is also a “membership scheme” in the offing for Ra Peeple.

      X-Mas AND the Summer Holidays will be duly cancelled in order to keep “The big hoose open” LOL

  33. Monti

    Can’t sheep….i mean sleep 🙂

  34. Monti

    If anyone notices spelling mistakes in my written work, be content in the knowledge this has been done quite deliberately…..it’s so the Huns can understand what I’m talking about.

  35. Monti


    • graham

      pride of Ireland and rome ???
      why don’t you move your team and yourself to one or the other of those two great places since you despise the current home of your club so much.
      never have told me do you have a British passport
      good luck to the British teams in Europe … don’t know if any irish ones are left in it

      • Geddy Lee

        No, Celtic papped the last micks out in the qualifiers.

        Celtic, as they have throughout their history, will go into this game representing SCOTLAND.

        You know, the place the Sevcovians call “This horrible wee country” with it’s “Tartan Trannies”

        But there’s no need to panic, it will be many a year before “the rangers” are forced to represent Scotland.

        The hypocrisy of you guys is simply staggering.

  36. Raymilland

    Ogie Ogie Ogie

    Out Out Out

  37. @gortchomhor

    On behalf of the neutral people of Scotland, the silent majority of sensible and decent people, I’d like to say to the Celtic team and Celtic fans on this especially important day… it looks like you’re screwed. Nae luck.

    Only joking. Good luck.

    Ok so here’s how the media look at it…

    Right now you’re a Glasgow team. Get through to the next stages and you magically become a Scottish team. Reach the final and you’re British. But listen… the second you lose you’re shower of nationless taigs and the focus switches to the behaviour of your fans.

    That’s the deal. Best we are all clear on that.

  38. Ed Paisley

    I know you thing yon Mathers is a handsome young feller with the jet black hair and the perfect teeth.
    However, I have it on good authority that the teeth are implants at £1,500 per
    tooth and the hair colour is courtesy of “Just for Men”. Everything about the guy is fraudulent from Little Big Shot to his inflated salary at Sevco Rangers to his porcelain gnashers. John Greig told me he has got lifts in his shoes too because his height is somewhere between Tom Cruise and Tom Thumb.
    Our heroes always turn out to have feet of clay.

    P.S. It must have been a scene of desolation at the Tumbleweed Dome last night – in fact it was so quiet yiu could here the Easdale Boys trying to drill the lock of the safe in the Boardroom.

  39. Fra

    God, I love you Celtic. Please do yourselves proud for we are the bhoys the tims, the popes 11, Ireland and Scotland’s heroes. Need I go on……..


  40. JimBhoy

    Good read, well written, mainly for the rangers’ haters amongst us.. HH Celtic 5 – 1 Sheep murderers..

  41. JimBhoy

    Sally still looking for players FFS a new striker, does that include Kenny Miller in the New Year, Moshni has he signed, Pandza ?? Simonsen??

    — What about that American academy that Bocanegra was gonna help establish, surely with all these signings those yank boys will not get a chance….!!!

  42. robertg

    The Green Brigade will know how they feel. 🙂

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