A Shocking Moment in Glasgow Sheriff Court!

Yesterday, as is normal for a Friday morning, there was a packed courtroom in Glasgow Sheriff Court. This court was scheduled to deal with around 100 miscellaneous civil cases, including a number where parties were attending the court themselves as they did not have lawyers.

The Sheriff progressed quickly and efficiently through the morning’s business, taking care to explain to the unrepresented parties what was happening and working to, as the rules require, “secure the expeditious progress of the case”.

Early on came a lovely moment, which could only have occurred in the West of Scotland (and for those who point out it could have happened elsewhere, I disagree, so there!)

The Sheriff was being asked to schedule a legal hearing for a later date. The Sheriff Clerk suggested that the hearing should be on the 12th July.

Then came the moment…

The Sheriff said, “I don’t know where the agents in this case are from, so I don’t know if they are aware of what the 12th July is …”

From some of the members of the public there was an audible gasp…

What relevance would the 12th July have for the scheduling of a court hearing?

Was the court action connected to large numbers of people marching in their colourful outfits, playing their party tunes, to celebrate historical events across the sea some time ago?

Was the Sheriff suggesting that the lawyers might be wearing their finery and thus unavailable to attend court?

After a short pause, which was a masterpiece of comic timing (almost certainly unconscious, as I would not suggest that the Sheriff was making a joke about this matter, especially in Glasgow), he spoke again.

“If you are not from here, you may not realise that 12th July is Glasgow Fair Friday…does it suit for the case to be on that day?”

The crowded courtroom sighed in relief. Thankfully we had avoided the risk of a “Sheriff in Boyne-related Outburst” headline.

And the court continued on its merry way thereafter…

Posted by Paul McConville

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57 Comments

Filed under Alleged Humour, Courts

57 responses to “A Shocking Moment in Glasgow Sheriff Court!

  1. Mike Annis

    After a shocked intake of breath and sighs of relief several court functionaries quietly rolled down their trouser legs.

  2. malky

    Excellent but sad that the crowd were even anxious for a second.

  3. Cruiskeen Lawn

    I wonder what speed a judge has to exceed before one can claim “being rushed to judgement”?

  4. Gortnamona

    ” And so, how pleased his lordship was, and how he smiled to say,
    “That’s good, my boy. Come, tell me now; and what is Christmas Day?”
    The ready answer bared a fact no bishop ever knew –
    “It’s the day before the races out at Tangmalangaloo.”

  5. Steven Brennan

    Sorry Paul
    I am not sure what you mean, what happens on the 12th July???

    • Maggie

      @Steven Brennan
      Morning Steven,I think Paul was making an allusion to what my children, when small,called “the marching bands” How they loved being at their great grandmother’s house when said bands paraded past.
      We let them have their illusions,but drew the line when my son wanted to learn the flute. 🙂

  6. jim62

    Name names Mr McC !!! 😉

    Lovely judgement online this week fron Sheriff Reid about 6 Hibs fans being charghed under the Offensive Behaviour Act for a bit of “naughtiness” in Central station…one line in paragraph 15 is priceless!!

    http://www.scotcourts.gov.uk/opinions/GA12003915.html

  7. Niall Walker
    May 24, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    Try looking at the operating profit in 2010-11 and add a million( no bank loan), then come back with a relevant reply,
    ==================================================

    There’s no point in in looking at the ‘operating profit’.

    That’s just sleight of hand creative accounting, something Rangers love to indulge in.

    Ibrox being over valued for the last miserable ten years of Rangers existence from £80mill to an eventual £140mill for example.

    Eventually sold to Green for £1.5mill.

    £5.5 less £3.5 for players contracts.

    The important part of the overvaluation is it gave a false picture of Rangers true debt.

    Claims by Murray that he was going to reduce the club’s £80mill debt to £30mill by a share issue was a lie, as the true debt was £80 plus the overvaluation of the AsbestosDome.

    A figure nearer £200mill.

    For the best part of ten years Sir Moonbeams tried to offload the slowly sinking ship, using every trick in the book to keep afloat, until Craig Whyte (God Bless ‘im) stepped up with a new shiny £1 coin.

    I haven’t heard you mention your own club East Fife recently. (snigger)

    I do hope they are in rude good health.

    • Niall Walker

      ” There’s no point in in looking at the ‘operating profit’.”

      I see basic economics is not your forte, the only figure relevant to a buyer of a company via a CVA is its operating viability, they are not interested in previous debt burdens, funding mechanisms or management, all are irrelevant to the underlying trading position of the company.They are interested in only two things, the fixed running costs and the historical sales, a new buyer risks investing to reduce the former and maintain the latter, in the case of Rangers it simply involved reducing the wage bill.

      Now I have explained this until I am black and gold in the face to you and sundry, and this simple formula seems to be beyond you.

      Take the same advice I have given to barca and ecojon, avoid misplaced condescension, it requires an intellect beyond your ken

      • Ed Paisley

        I think you are getting a little mixed up Niall. Did you mean, the only thing that interests the buyer of a distressed company is the liklihood of a CVA on favourable terms, and the underlying profitability potential of the company beyond the CVA?
        Your obtuseness and lack of precision with language exposes your agenda and bias. I don’t mean any offence because it may well be subconscious. Some kind of Uncle Tom syndrome?

        • Niall Walker

          Ed,
          If there are any fundamental contradiction between our two presentations then point them out to moi, nit picking semantics exposes your inability to rebut my case, and I don’t mean any offense because it may be subconscious.

          We have two different styles, get over it.

      • Paul

        You did mean blue in the face but prejudged the comments that would have brought your way. Very clever Niall.

      • Den

        I am going to be pedantic Niall.

        A buyer in a CVA is interested in a lot of figures, ‘operational viability’ is not a figure in the accounts. What appeals in a lot of cases is the asset values.

        Previous debt burdens are maybe not crucial but those raking in pennies in the pound as a result, may not offer further credit in the medium term.

        Buyers are not just interested in only two things. Fixed running costs are very important, only a fool would ignore variable costs. Historical sales are important but only as an indicator of future sales which are the key consideration. The objective is not simply to maintain sales it is to increase them. Cost reduction should look at all costs although in Rangers case it is the obvious first port of call.

        Lastly, why are you denigrating our Ken’s intellect.

  8. Blindlemonchitlin

    Those of us who have had the dubious pleasure to have appeared in front of the now retired and much missed David Smith in Killie would have had no such doubts as to the reference to the glorious 12th.

    Davie, no stranger to controversy, found himself in Dutch with the Appeal Court (again) after a sumary trial for breach of the peace came off the rails. The main reason for the discomfiture of the defence agent, who, despite his client’s sympathies for the Dark Side, is a good Celtic man and whose word is therefore not to be doubted, was that the bold David couldn’t contain himself when the Fiscal was examining a witness and felt the need to intervene , i.e take over the proescution of the case. Twas ever thus with the bearded one. The issue was which version of The Sash was being sung. The traditional one or the one with add ons.’Ah’m no sure, yer honour’ says the reluctant witness. ‘ Weel, ye must ken the words o’ baith?’ says his lordship ( he could speak fluent Ayrshire when it suited him as well as Etruscan , High German and Old Valerian) ‘ Whih wis it? sing it fur me’

    ‘Naw, ah don’t like tae here’

    ‘ ‘sma Coort, sing when I teel ye!’

    To cowering depute fiscal
    ‘Dae ah huv tae dae this?’

    ‘Look at me, no him! Now listen, which one of these versions wiz it?’

    And then, in his rather lovely bass profundo, big Davie gave it laldy with both official and unofficail versions of The Sash, in both of which he was word perfect.

    What fun. Sheriffs are so anodyne these days. The big man wouldn’t have made the first sift with the Judicial Appoinments malarkey, more’s the pity.

    • Maggie

      @Paul Mc
      Phew! Thank goodness for a new post.I blame you entirely for that borefest re HMRC’s acceptance/non acceptance of the Rangers’ CVA.
      That one’s right up there with “is you is,or is you ain’t my Rangers” 🙂
      Please Paul,I implore you,NO MORE.
      No more from me today,as I’ve promised to take Jim Bhoy’s snow leopards to Methil on a troll hunt. Such fun. 🙂

      • That’s a bit harsh Maggie. Yesterday provided Niall with a platform to showboat his towering intellect & rapier, debating artistry. At one point he was even answering his own posts. Tedious & sad!!!!
        It was all rather academic as Rangers are no more, & the late night drunken crowing over the laughable PM inquiry, which only managed to collect one side of the story was pitiful, & more than a tad offensive.

      • JimBhoy

        @Maggie plenty of sun screen on the big cats, don’t over feed them on the trolls, theirs is a bitter meat anyways…

        Have fun in the sun y’all…

      • Niall Walker

        maggie my dear,

        Are you married to a fish ?

        • arb urns

          well u sure get put in your plaice on here….. battered as well

        • referring to a female contributor as “my dear” reeks strongly of…..well sexism. Not to worry Nige it’s another tawdry little prejudice you can add to your list along with your class bigotry demonstrated by your ‘smug middle class conceit’, & and your obnoxious sense of intellectual superiority.
          I’m sure a man of your caliber was already aware that bigotry was not confined to the football stands……..perhaps not!!

      • Budweiser

        Maggie:- You just beat me to it !

  9. Gobsmacked

    Great to start the day, with a smile. Reminded me of the witness in his evidence saying “He had it away on his toes”. The skeptical look on the Judge’s face, either through deafness or lack of clarity was cleared up by the Barrister. “He quickly left the scene, your Honour”. Now must go and find my James Galway album.

  10. david

    Cmon the GLORIOUS HIBEES, end 112 years of hurt.
    Good for the game to see a Hibs win, get the monkey off their back, and spread the trophies around.
    And good for all their legends , some of whom like Lawrie Reilly ( last-minute Reilly, famous for his late goals against England ) are getting on a bit.
    Sunshine today.
    Sunshine on Leith tomorrow.

    Apparently an Irish gypsy told them they would never win the Cup until they restored the Harp crest to the stand which had been taken down.
    Spell seems to have worked.

    • david
      May 25, 2013 at 11:29 am

      Cmon the GLORIOUS HIBEES, end 112 years of hurt.
      Good for the game to see a Hibs win, get the monkey off their back, and spread the trophies around.
      ===============================================

      If all you want to do is spread the trophies around, why not just stick all the teams’ names in a hat and have a raffle for the Scottish Cup.

      That would give every team in all the divisions a chance of a trophy, and, as you put it, “end their hurt”.

      Hibs “hurt” is not as great as many others, as Hibs have won the cup in the past.

      Alternatively we can just play out the final tomorrow and declare:-

      May the better team on the day win.

    • JimBhoy

      Green and white ribbons on the cup for sure, hope for a great game and a 6-3 Celtic win after extra time..

  11. Monti

    12th of July……oaft the smell!

  12. Many years ago walking over the beautiful clifftops near Portpatrick on a glorious sunny day, looking across the North Channel, you could see the Ulster coast & the Mountains of Mourne . While pointing this out to my Wife & kids we suddenly heard the boomng, hectoring voice of the “legendary” Rev Ian Paisley. Turning & looking across the cliffs we could see a large group in their Sunday best standing under a Coast Guard radio mast. They were listening to a “Live Broadcast” of the great Reverend delivering what sounded like a rather furious oration from the banks of the Boyne
    It was “The 12th”, it was the middle of nowhere & we still couldn’t get away from this nonsense.
    Even in trying to see the comic absurdity of it all it fair put me off my pub lunch I can tell you 🙂

  13. Fra

    Re: the Judge…Reminds me of a story regaled to me by a friend

    At a court sitting one day, a member of the public was chewing his gum rather vigorously when the judge called over the policeman on the door and said “Officer, could you tell that gentleman to stop masticating” to which the policeman approached the guy and said in his thick Glesga brogue “Hoy, the judge said get yer hons oot yer poakets.”

  14. Felpen

    Speaking of the 12 of July. I am being told that there is muttering of bringing back the James Connolly march to Edinburgh! Would be great if true. Took part in that march many times and once led it. Hoping there is some truth to the rumours!

  15. Night Terror

    Quite amusing.
    It is such minor observations of legal life life that make much of Mr McC’s output interesting.

  16. Looking forward to the glorious 12th when the loyal orders march her majestys highway in defiance of this great countrys haters and in celebration of our loyalist culture .NO SURRENDER .

  17. arb urns

    I once took on a roll as court observer in a far flung field…. english law was the doctrine supposedly being introduced… each day this guy would come in at regular intervals.. and squeeze each womans ‘breasts’… to no complaint….at the end of the trial i had handed in my report and querried this action…at debrief the following day… the judge took me to task for this highlight…. it is part of the protocol of english law he insisted…. i must beg to differ sir i opined….. look here said the learned judge drawing a copy of the daily telegraph court report from his brief case… rangers fc v hmrc ebt appeal 12th july 2012.. it clearly says the judge made a witty remark and the titter ran round the court!!

  18. Paul

    So the big story is no connection between CG and GW. What can we read from this.Did anyone expect a decision to go against the men who brought in the independent inquiry. CW refused to participate, would you take part in a charade introduced to discredit you.
    CG may return to the fold so where does this place Malcom Murray whom the board are trying to offload. Who do you think will pay for the charade, the board or the supporters via their season tickets.
    Will the public get to see the documents that were disputed, will the public get to see the documents that the SFA will receive. Would the investigation be declared if the investigators found against CG and would the investigators be payed. Some of the bloggers on here might perceive this as sour grapes and use it to point score.
    TBH I do not think anyone who honestly wanted justice to prevail had any doubts as to the investigations result and it would have been a sure bet that you could have placed your mortgage on what the outcome would have been.
    The main thread running through this whole saga is that the institution and the big hoose has to remain in place.
    The SFA etc have rewritten the rule book. At this present time of writing the Sevco saga has been witnessed worldwide and has been an embarrassment to the whole game in Scotland, Yet smaller meaningless cases are been dealt harshly whilst this shambles is allowed to continue bringing into disrepute and diminishing the game of football.
    Sevco are the laughing stock of football and have clearly given an insight into the world of corruption both at board level and the way in which organised crime flourishes within the business world. The only punishment available to Sevco, is for the ordinary football fan to boycott this institution and to hurt the SFA at every turn by boycotting the national team, also for the rest of the Scottish teams to refuse players for international duty. Before Sevco the Rangers football club put nothing into the smaller clubs coffers and the smaller clubs survived. In fact David Murray was the one who put the boot into Airdrie FC when he stated business was business for the recovery of a debt.
    Wake up to this institution and show corruption the red card.
    Off to watch a real game tonight on a memorable date in history when 11 ordinary men faced up to the mighty superstars and brought home to the Scottish and British Isles the big trophy. Hail Hail in remembrance to Big Jock a man who should how the game should be played and how to get the best from a team of honest men prepared to graft and play the game without cheating.

    • Paul the joke is entirely on them. How much did they pay for this charade?????

      • Gortnamona

        Mac
        One of the many sad things about growing old is realizing that there is no such thing as a new joke. Referring to court related jests not Deadco’s latest debacle.

        Also our self appointed Brain of Britain is turning into nasty Niall as a result of our failure to recognise his genius. Sadly those of superior intellect like prophets often fail to get the recognition they deserve from the local yokels.

    • Paul thanks for letting me enjoy your blogs
      This is the first time in my life I have ever done this sort of
      Thing and I truly thought we would get an
      honest answer to what has been
      Going on at the SFA and Ibrox but I must be silly old fool to think that anything
      has changed I think now it has gotten worse now In this age of the internet
      With all the things that WE can now do even old men like me it may take me longer but I still try to get the honest answer that it gives me but not the right one with all that has been said in emails how can they deny they have done no wrong it is a total mystery the SFA should be in the dock for there contribution to this fiasco as for rangers they are history a bad one at that
      But for me this has been a sad end to this chapter we will never get another one as open and shut as this one cheating bastards

      • Steven Brennan

        Bellabhoy
        Welcome to the madness that is the interbloggything.
        Keep on keeping up, we all on here like to hear from the older/ wiser generation.
        Well some of us do.

  19. Paul

    One day in court the accused was asked if he had anything to say before judgement.Fuck all your hon-our was the reply.The judge asked the accused lawyer what his client had said, The lawyer stated to the judge,Fuck all your hon-our, to which the judge replied i could have sworn i seen his lips moving.
    Enjoy the CL tonight Bhoys

  20. Utterly brilliant delivery

  21. Paul thanks for letting me enjoy your blogs
    This is the first time in my life I have ever done this sort of
    Thing and I truly thought we would get an
    honest answer to what has been
    Going on at the SFA and Ibrox but I must be silly old fool to think that anything
    has changed I think now it has gotten worse now In this age of the internet
    With all the things that WE can now do even old men like me it may take me longer but I still try to get the honest answer that it gives me but not the right one with all that has been said in emails how can they deny they have done no wrong it is a total mystery the SFA should be in the dock for there contribution to this fiasco as for rangers they are history a bad one at that
    But for me this has been a sad end to this chapter we will never get another one as open and shut as this one cheating bastards

  22. Niall Walker are you trolling as Paul Murray’s alter ego?….hmmmmm

  23. Today is the 46th anniversary of a wonderful event that set Rainjurs on the road to their death 45 years later.
    Wewonthebigcupandwebroughtitback.com

    • Fra

      To all our brothers, past and present, who had the honour of laying the foundations for us to carry them on to the next generation, you will never be forgotten. TAL to each and every one. God Bless You All.

      Integrity, honesty and commitment. Characters implanted in our behaviour from an early age.

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